Memoirs

Remembering, walking over snowdrifts, praying to invisible spirits, "oh let this be different." Cold day it was, don't remember the month. And yes, it was different, but not quite in the way I had asked.

Remembering way back, he wanted to say goodbye, going off to the army, I didn't want him to go, I was very young, six or so, I ran away, ran away to the shed, but he didn't follow, I didn't say goodbye, never saw him again, no, he didn't die, just never saw him again. That was different, too.

Remembering dark New York nights, big drama fights in dimlit after hours joint, I ran, oh but he followed, he sure did, kicked me right back to him, mercy. And still makes me laugh thinking of him, big dinner party in his Village lair, everyone there had been his lover at one time or another, but the food was good, so we all ate it, oh still makes me laugh.

Remembering the love letter, the post-hippie lure of sameness, quoting Paul McCartney song and oh, I was a gonner, just gone for that boy, now he's in San Francisco or some parts close.

Remembering the bars, though there was only one, but we still said bars, dunno why. Sitting there with my drink, lost in drunken reveries wondering who would stop by, oh eventually someone always stopped by.

Remembering millennial love affairs with sci-fi satellites and adulterous thoughts never spoken, marriage broken, youngmen tormentations, virtual passions, ah, the dance, such a dance, and here I am, suffused with memories as I wander through this mad life.