Saturday, December 30, 2006

Queen of the Jungle

I am Shamooa, Queen of the Jungle! I live by the laws of the jungle, I take what I want and my subjects worship me for the taking, for I am very skillful in this law! And in return I provide well for my subjects, they do not want for food or shelter. I am a Great Queen!

So you can imagine when this strange white man appeared with many crazy notions of behavior that I was not amused! I instructed my warriors to bring him to me, and as I was not feeling cheerful that day, having lost my finest ebony haircomb, I was in the mind to have the strange white fellow severely punished, perhaps executed, which is one of my Laws of the Jungle.

"Oh, strange man, it is good you are comely, else I would have you killed immediately!" I pronounced, seeing some advantages to his tall physique, tho his fairness was quite a miserable sight.

He looked back upon me with equanimity, which only annoyed me, as I am used to awe and worship, a fit and fine response to my Queenliness.

You who attend my words as the sacred pronouncements they are, I shall only say I took him into my tent and many things occurred, many things indeed. After I emerged I made a change in the Law of the Jungle, a small change, really, quite insignificant, a mere token of a satisfaction of my fancy.

I, Shamooa, Queen of the Jungle make this proclamation on this day, seated upon my banana throne, attended by 70 lovely virgins! Henceforth we shall no longer sacrifice humans upon the pyre of Shamooa, enveloped in flames and screaming so delightfully. No, this practice shall be hereby ended. From now on we shall instead make offerings of cocoa nuts and fine firm bananas upon the flame alter of Shamooa. Thus I have said, and thus it shall be!


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