Confusion

ought to be asleep, it's late, the weather has turned goofy, cold days in August, makes me disoriented, knowing by the weekend it'll be back up in the 90's. good sleeping weather tonight, but here I am, awake, aah. this time so confusing, big loads of knowledge poured into me, not knowing whether it'll take or just pour right back out of me again, so many people, retreats and advances, oh I got nothing to write, just big confusions and encounters, esoteric conversations as he painted my white hutch red with white lotuses and green leaves, swirling blue waters, golden decorations on the corners, smells of turpentine, he left an empty box of pringles potato chips, I've never eaten them, they scare me with their perfection. I like my potato chips individualistic, each one different, like snowflakes. and today, on 51st Street I was having a smoke with Nancy, we were talking and all of a sudden we saw a big red tour bus, every seat filled with Santa Clauses. and later I saw 4 of them on the corner of 51st and 6th Avenue handing out flyers for the Radio City Music Hall Christmas show. I wish the seasons would not be rushed that way but the mad advertisers will not be stopped. my upstairs neighbor has a black cat, her name is Buster and I pet her through the spokes of the staircase every now and then as she wanders the hallways. oh confusion, wouldn't know clarity if it fell on my head and knocked me over. clouds in the blue sky, they are temporary but they feel like forever.